Double Act

Good taste or stupid waste?


Have you ever been in that awkward, yet ground-swallowing moment when you see someone wearing the same outfit as you? Not only are you thinking ‘shit’, but you’re also hoping they’ll piss off before anyone else notices.

This unfortunate, yet ironic, event happened at the weekend.


I was proud of my new jumpsuit, not just happy because I’d bought something new, but proud a jumpsuit suited ME. Me being the shape of a pear/banana who can never pull of any kind of fashion, unless it was sooo last year’s fashion.

Well, it happened, THE moment happened. There I was in the changing rooms trying on a jumpsuit, knowing full well I was going to resemble a frog, but I HAD to try it. I just had to know I was going to look ridiculous so I could put it back, and know for my own piece of mind I look ridiculous, but no, it looked somewhat okay.
Without wanting to get ahead of myself I took a picture of it and sent it to my friend who I knew would give me an honest opinion. Straightaway she replied, ‘GET IT! I LOVE IT!’ Brilliant. One down, two to go.

BUT, what if my boyfriend thinks I’m wearing a baby-grow. We’d seen some last week in a shop and laughed ridiculously at them and now here I was buying a similar thing. Men just don’t appreciate any kind of fashion, nor do they care.

I bought it. I had to, it’s not very often I can pull of something so beautiful. I kept the receipt just incase my mum thought it looked stupid. In hope, though, I wanted my mother to give me the same reaction as my friend and patiently waited until she returned home to witness the new attire.

“Mum, I bought this today, what d’ya think?” (A heart-rendering five seconds later...)

“Ooh, that’s nice. Turnaround, let me see.” ... YES. SHE LIKED IT!

Now it was boyfriend’s opportunity to witness the moment. I showed him the jumpsuit before I tried it on just to see his face. It was as I imagined. A kind of ‘are-you-kidding-me-that-looks-vomtastic’ face. Nope, I bloody wasn’t kidding and I was going to prove him wrong. He liked it, or so he says and gave the ultimate: “Yeah, looks better on than off.” Cheers, mate.

However, the pinnacle moment came. Sod mother or boyfriend, this was THE moment: Jumpsuit was making its first public outing.

I got a few odd looks; caught my reflection and saw my bum wobble more than ever, but I liked it. I felt like I was in fashion, for once. Now, don’t get me wrong I’m hardly a fashion fail, I just prefer to feel comfy in standard clobber. I don’t want to feel like one of those girls I laugh at who wear fashion merely because it’s in fashion, not because it suits them.

But, I had three nods; surely this was going to be okay.

I was wearing the jumpsuit at a festival so was expecting some mud and some drink thrown at it, but no, I was not expecting some other girl to be wearing MY jumpsuit. But then I got a tap on the shoulder and a few girls laughing at me. Their friend was wearing THE jumpsuit and they found it hil-arious. Pah. You could tell by the look on her face she wasn’t amused, and she threw the same awkward facial expression as me.

“Oh, yeah would you look at that!” I said, trying to break the awkward moment.
“Errr, yeah, same jumpsuit,” she said. Oh.

Her friends continued to laugh, my boyfriend shuffled off. Bastard. Then they did the unthinkable, they whipped out their cameras and asked for a picture. Fan-bloody-tastic.

My smile was a half awkward, half of a ‘I’m-forcing-this-smile-out-now-hurry-up.’
Then I ran/shuffled away hoping to never see these people again.
Some people may choose a moment like this as a compliment. I, however, didn’t and won’t in the future either.

I can only imagine that photo is on Facebook somewhere with lots of people loling at how ridiculous my face looks in such an awkward moment.

Next time, I'm going designer.